lost

So here I go…I’ve never really talked about the tragedy that happened about a year ago. It was this month. Here are my thoughts. I just hope that noone gets to read this. I miss her. I miss her every fucking second of my miserable existence. I changed. After that incident, I changed. Something in me…well, for the lack of a better word, “dissolved”. I just talked to a friend about this a couple of months ago. I told her, “I lost the ability to love”. It sounds cheesy but that is the perfect way to put it. I can’t love anymore. Not the kind of love that you feel your car, your iPod or your brother, Mom or other relatives. Those who have fallen, nay, plumetted in love would know what I’m talking about. Yeah…do you know what I’m talking about now? That Love. The kind that would make you give a rose everyday to a person, not because you have to but because you know she deserves it. The kind that would make you entranced in a deep stupor everytime your bodies embrace. That Love. I am lost. I know for a fact that I will never get that feeling back again. I lost it. I took it for granted. Cliche’ as it may sound, you will never know how much you need a person unless they are taken away from you. So for those who think that I am as nonchalant as one can get, think again. I am human and I did love her. Lemme rephrase that, I LOVE HER..but she’s gone. So I’m treading a one way street now.

Good luck to myself.

~ by paperlungs on October 17, 2008.